You know how some people just have a way with words? That was my friend Lucy. She could talk to anyone, fill any silence, and always had a story to tell or advice to share. It was one of the things I loved about her—how she made every conversation lively and engaging.
But over time, I noticed something that made me sad- she wasn’t really listening. She was great at talking, but not always at hearing what others were saying. It wasn’t that she didn’t care—quite the opposite. She wanted so badly to connect that she often jumped in with advice, shared her own experiences, or finished sentences before the other person had a chance to. One day, I decided to tell her how I was feeling. I carefully pointed this out to her. And I could tell that what I said really made her stop and think.
She realized she was listening to respond, not to understand. And she started to pay more attention, making a conscious shift to slow down in her conversations with others, pausing, really hearing people, and asking more questions.
And when she started paying attention to that, she noticed something else—she did the same thing in other areas of her life, and in particular with regard to food. Instead of truly listening to what her body needed, she filled the space with noise—diet rules, distractions, eating out of habit rather than hunger. And so as she listened to her own inner voice, and before eating, she’d take a breath and check in. Am I actually hungry? What do I really want? She stopped eating while scrolling her phone and started paying attention to how food tasted, how it made her feel. And just like in her conversations, she found that when she truly listened, everything felt more satisfying.
The more I reflect on Lucy’s experience, the more I can see myself—and so many of us—in her story. How often do we fill space with words instead of presence? How often do we eat on autopilot rather than tuning into our bodies? Listening—to others, to ourselves—isn’t just about being quiet. It’s about being present, about offering kindness and trust.
I think about Lucy often, especially when I catch myself talking too much or ignoring my own needs. She reminds me that the best conversations—and the best relationships, even with food—begin when we stop talking and start listening.
As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to help you integrate these practices into your life. If you're interested in working with me, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com