Last week marked my 56th birthday, the time of year that I always use to contemplate the past, present, and future. It's been a challenging year, grappling with both physical and emotional hurdles (as you might know, if you've been following my Monday writings). It has been during these times, and now every day, that I have had a great deal of what my mother- in- law calls a “lay down” or what I now call, my own personal "mandatory downtime”. With legitimate back pain, I had no option but to prioritize rest. Though observers might have viewed my “reclined” state as laziness or relaxation, it was far from it! I was deliberately engaging in self-care, recognizing it as paramount to my recovery.
This has led me to have had a great deal of time to reflect which in turn has led me towards significant self-discovery.
You might be wondering, what have I learned? Well, first and foremost, it's forgiveness.
I've come to understand the importance of forgiving myself, and not an ounce of regret, for not being the person I was before my injury. In the past, I was incredibly active. I ran a private therapy practice and I was the CEO and managed our household. I effortlessly juggled multiple tasks in a day, rarely breaking a sweat. I enjoyed frequent lunches and dinners out, exercised independently, and strolled through the park catching up with friends. Meeting for coffee between errands was a breeze, all before 5pm. Now, just the thought of those days exhausts me.
Thus, this past year and a half has been a journey of both progress and setbacks, of doing and undoing.
Forgiveness is a profound and essential aspect of human relationships, both with others and with ourselves. In relationships with others, forgiveness allows us to navigate through conflicts, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. It enables us to let go of resentment, bitterness, and anger, thereby restoring trust and rebuilding connections.
Forgiveness towards ourselves is equally crucial. Often, we are our harshest critics. Forgiving ourselves is an act of self-compassion and healing. It involves acknowledging our own humanity, accepting our mistakes, and letting go of self-blame, guilt, and shame. It also means acknowledging the impact of our choices, learning from our mistakes, and making proactive changes to support our well-being.
I've grown to cherish my moments of rest, finding them restorative and rejuvenating. Rediscovering connections with both others and myself has brought me happiness and peace. If you're seeking to find your own sense of peace, don't hesitate to reach out to me at rachel@livehealthynyc.com